Verizon is currently runnng this ad, and everytime it rolls around, it makes me grit my teeth.
The basic premise is: Fat frumpy guy pretends to not want a new phone, while the fashionable couple sitting across from h im oddly shows off their phones.



I feel so frumpy.

Apparently, someone is trying to set a record.
The youngest Black teenage female is attempting to fly coast to coast.
How very specific.
She should be worried, since if she succeeds, a left handed black teenage female may try it and overshadow her accomplishment.

Open google
type in "I am extremely"
and see the options it auto populates.

having spent a lot of time sick, i'm officially now addicted to the failblog site.
failblog.org.


it's the ultimate time killer

Bronchitis and Pneumonia.
Now that's the life.
You know you're in good shape when nothing stops the fever.

maybe I should also buy a home?
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/06/17/detroit.artists.homes/index.html

Today's purchase:
Glock 22 .40 with the freaky grips that stick to your hand. I truly believe that if a cop was to scream "drop the gun", i couldn't without a crowbar.
Ok, it's not that bad, but it is kinda cool. Little ridgy bumps all over.

For California, to make this purchase, I had to swim through a sea of shite.
1. Pay purchase price which probably includes a huge amount of legal liability. Ala 600 bucks straight.
2. Tax, which has recently been increased by one percent, or as I like to say "an increase of 12 percent over the old value"., or 8.25 %
3. DROS fee, that the dealer charges for filling out all that fucking paperwork-35 bucks.
4. They apparently run a background check to make sure I'm telling the truth, or something like that, I dunno
5. I fill out a form where I initial lines such as "i have not been declared mentally unstable", "I do not have a restraining order against me" and "I have not committed a felony which would preclude me from owning a gun". Like if I was a mentally unstable, restraining ordered felon I would say "oh, yeah, wait, I do have that , can't buy, sorry, see ya later!"
6 Take the California Handgun Safety Certificate test, which was an insult to the intelligence of everyone involved.I think the guy making me take it felt embarrassed. Costing $35, it asks 30 questions such as :

Which of the following safety
points should you remember
when handling a gun? (page 11)
A. Never shoot a gun in
celebration.
B. Do not fire at water, flat
or hard surfaces.
C. Wear ear and eye protection
when shooting a gun.
D. All of the above.

or:

It is important to carefully read
all instructional material you
receive with your handgun.
True False

or how about this gem:

It is important to carefully read
all instructional material you
receive with your handgun.
True False

Now imagine this question repeated 30 times, and you can miss SEVEN. You really would have to be illiterate to fail this test. Or trying to. Or only speak Farsi.
7. Buy or receive a lock with it. Or, alternately, if you have a gun safe you can bring in affidavit paperwork that you have one. sigh.You see, this protects the children. Though perhaps children who mess with my stuff deserve to lose some fingers? Yes, I"m heartless. And I keep things locked up, because I'm not a moron. The state doesn't have to babysit me.
8. Wait ten days. Because if I'm crazy, I'll certainly be less crazy ten days from now.

On each portion of this process, if I make ANY mistakes-- such as in circle the correct answer on the test instead of drawing an X through it, write CA instead of California for my address--then I will be rejected, the state will keep my fee, and I'll have to start all over again. It's just idiocy.


If anyone should ask "why are you buying one anyway?", keep in mind the old dead white guys who founded the country, when amending their constitution, found this right to be secondary only to our right to bitch and complain, which I'm doing here now.
Plus, it's really cool to make that little target go pling pling pling.

Macs annoy me.
Seriously.
When something goes wrong with one, and you ask a Mac kool-aid person about it, their reply?
"That doesn't happen on a Mac"
I've had two people inform me of this.
I guess I should feel good that the world has magically transformed itself to befuddle me, since that doesn't happen on a mac.
In case you're wondering, this time it's browser displays. On safari, on firefox, probably on netscape should I try it.
last time was printer's not working.
and before that, constant spinning beach balls.
when googled mac maintenance online, I Resoundingly got the following answer:
"You don't have to do maintenance on a mac. It just does it".
wheee, well it's just doing it wrong then.
I suppose I could go to the "Genius" bar, but I'm guessing the genius would inform me I'm mistaken, since Macs don't break.

How NASA did it. Now I know!
http://www.ehow.com/how_2106418_build-space-ship.html

So...
I go to the Gun show today.
Three things to get, actually. We wanted to buy some ammunition for an SKS, I needed a magazine for a pistol, and I wanted to see how comfortable a particular company's pistol is.
Ammunition everywhere has been really drying up.
It's funny, but I think the effect is being caused by both increasingly restrictive gun laws AND the perception that they will increase in time.
This is the interesting conundrum. The more people attempt to ban guns, the more that are sold.
It's like if I told you tomorrow that Milk would be illegal.
I can bet you every shop/store would sell out in five minutes.
So everyone's running around buying ammo. Big 5, one of the few local sporting good chains that carries ammunition, had a completely empty shelf the other day.
So the gun show is just a MADHOUSE, and I mean madhouse, of people standing around trying to buy ammunition.
it looks like one of those bad movies where the UN rolls into town and starts distributing bread to the starving villagers, who completely surround the convoy and threaten to tip over the trucks.
Except in this case, it was a booth with a....2 hour wait .
Yes, a two hour wait. At which point I get to the front only to find out that the ammunition I'm looking for is...bimetallic FMJ. Meaning California Law, in it's infinite "Guns are evil and I will do everything I can to make things difficult for anyone without a boat of money or a criminal to own one", bans because they're magnetic and you can't shoot magnetic/steel core at ranges.
Thus, I wasted my time.
fuckity fuck.
And... the magazine I was looking for nobody carried.
And.... the pistol I was looking for was not to be found.

But hey, I saved $1 on admission with a coupon!

And I admit, I stole it, but...
10 facts I know about You
1. You're reading my comment
2. Now you're thinking "that's a stupid fact."
4. You didn't notice that I skipped #3.
5. You're checking it now.
6. You're smiling.
7. You're still reading.
8. You didn't notice that I skipped#7.
9. Your checking it again.
10. You didn't notice there are only 8 facts

Family "birthday celebrations" are just so... lackluster and painful in my family.
Mainly because it becomes an obligation to attend, and then if you're not along for the ride, you're a spoilsport.
Family schedules one for me yesterday, without telling me, then gets upset on Friday when I've already made other plans. So, Harumph, it's on Monday.
I'm asked what particular food I'd like, then told none of them will do, since they don't involve chicken and look, there's so much frozen chicken we have to finish up.
What kind of cake, perhaps? Oh, no, that's no good, so and so doesn't like that, we'll have ice cream cake, you like ice cream cake, don't you? but don't get chocolate...someone else doesn't like chocolate ice cream cake.
And finally, overhearing my lazy nephew get quizzed on exactly what foods he would like prepared for him if he should happen to attend, because he's vegetarian and has such a delicate constitution at 25. Heaven forbid, he might kill himself if he doesn't receive it.

I feel so juvenile and petty, being my age and complaining about it, but it's really does seem a passive aggressive excuse for people to pretend to do something while really doing nothing.

Well, there's this little map of the State of California, showng the election results of our latest round of nonsense.
The entire state is painted Yellow, showing the ballot propositions losing.
Except for San Francisco, which is green.
Meaning they're winning there.

Based on these facts Alone, I nominate San Francisco for City State status. They should separate, and become their own kingdom.
Really, it could work.

Japan is like Vulcan, except everyone is allowed one emotion: expression of Cuteness.

And yes, It took ages for me to say this. I feel so alive!

In Australia, I purchased a T-Shirt. Across the top is the Australian flag, basically a Union Jack with the Southern cross attached, on Blue.
Below it is written "If you don't love it, LEAVE"
Fantastically nationalistic, and Shelly couldn't stop laughing when she realized that I'd be wearing the thing outside Australia.

Well, the joke was on me, as today, in the USA, Two different people walked up to me and said "Yeah, I like your shirt, I totally agree!".
You see, they couldn't tell an Australian flag from an American one. There was no irony in them. When I pointed out that it wasn't an American flag, they simply looked confused.
Sigh.
What's even worse, we KICKED THE UNION JACK OUT two hundred and something years ago.
Double Sigh.

And may God help the guilty.
If you didn't get a card, just ask!

Upon embarking on vacation, I always imagine the end day, when I will look back and say "woah, what happened, how did I get my vacation out of the way so fast, where did it all go", and as I sit in Hong Kong Airport stealing power and internet, i find myself wondering the same thing again.
Because somehow it managed to slither away once more.
a little hong kong, a little Sydney, a little Brisbane, lots of Kiyoko, heaps of Shelly, and just slightly less Kathryn made for a fun time, but wha happen?
I despise ending vacations. Because now I've got to be frugal once more, I can't ramp Shelly's kid up and make him call me mama, I can't chastise kiyoko for worrying about her already good looks, I can't finally figure out what Rugby rules mean, and I can't feel secretly guilty for not getting over to New Zealand (honestly, next time , really--you can blame shelly and kiyoko).
I can add Australia to the list of places I'd be willing to live in at this point, and I almost speak the language there. except when I talk about people getting bonked on the head, or argue over rubbish bins or ponder why Rice Crispies are Rice Bubbles
And I think I've finally indirectly apologized to Shelly's mum for sending that godawful "poppers and gay sex don't mix" public service announcement postcard a few years back. This is what happens when one friend, in San Francisco, supplies me with the worst PSA campaigns on the planet.

I'd wholeheartedly like to thank those who put up with me. This includes Kiyoko, Shelly, Ritchie, Sean, Shelly's mom and day, Kathryn, the staff at hotels in Hong Kong and Sydney, that poor waiter in the hotel sun sun Macao,and anybody i was too careless to remember.

Thank you, and goodnight.

I'm beginnng to regret voting for the guy:

Obama, Chavez shake hands at Americas Summit

Obama kisses Kim Jong-Il, signs up for Juche lessons at 59th Anniversary of Korean War

Carl: You're uh.. You're frickin' uh.. Dusty Gozongas! I've seen your billboard on the interstate, you dance out at the uh..Wild Wild Chest!
Meatwad: No, you thinkin' of that girl down at Funbag Junction. That's Busty Bazookas.
Master Shake: I think you're talking about Nipple Hut!
Carl: You're thinkin' Crotch Town.
Master Shake: Crotch Town?
Meatwad: Crotch Town?!
Carl: Yeah, it's near Boobburg, but Boobburg..eh.. kinda weak.

People appear to be bitchng that Obama's new dog isn't "resue-ey" enough.
Goddam, this is really kinda pathetic.

So, in honor of their wishes, I will now abandon five dogs , fit for rescue!
I always try to do my part.

I'm now addicted to a new game:

Legends of Zork
it's fun fun fun.
and free. Unless you want to spend money, then they're more than willing to let you.